When I Gave Up All Hope

So lonely and alone, sitting in the dark
But that was a lifetime ago
No emotion filled my heart
And the emptiness in my soul
Cried out a silent prayer
I knew that He would hear.

Afraid and desolate, I held no hope
Other than what I placed in that one tear
It was all I had left
But it was enough to end the loneliness
It was enough to end the pain
It was enough to raise me from the darkness
And into the light again.

When I thought I had nothing left
But a life I did not want
And that final hope that I could end it all
That is when I cried out silently
And gave up all hope.

Now my friends call me an optimist
Yet I say that it’s not so
For I gave up my final hope
And learned how to live.

I understand now how
He died for me that day
And with all the love He could
Taught me how to say
Sometimes hope is not enough
And we must give it all away
And just trust in the Lord
For He will show us the way.

Jamie Morris
January 31, 1991

People often knock me for my faith. In all seriousness, if I did not believe in God, I would have killed myself long ago. Belief has sustained me when hope failed me. I know many people don’t believe, and that’s fine. We all have to live life in the way it makes sense to us. My faith tells me I exist for a reason, and I will continue until I fulfill that purpose. This poem isn’t meant to convert anyone. It’s just a testament of my personal experience.

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